


Before the dawn

by targaryen_melodrama



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Established Relationship, Ficlet, M/M, Mild Angst, POV Sam Wilson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26314105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/targaryen_melodrama/pseuds/targaryen_melodrama
Summary: “So what are we doing here on the floor?”Sam shrugs. “I’m comfortable. Well, I was up until now,” Sam amends when his neck starts twinging. He hears more than sees Steve come lay down next to him. His warmth and familiar smell immediately put Sam a little bit more at ease.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	Before the dawn

**Author's Note:**

> Barely looked this over, so apologies for anything I missed

It was the same old thing. Sam had been through some things he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy, but even before the grief and the PTSD, it was the same old thing. Old insecurities swirling around his head, useless, pervasive self-deprecating thoughts always lurking behind the surface, ready to leap out and live in his head, rent free, for a day or two, if not more.

It’s the excuse—the _reason_ —he breaks his promise to Steve, and no matter how much he hates doing it, he can’t quite find a way to change course and be honest like he promised he would, a year ago, then again a few months ago, then again a few weeks ago. 

_Fuck_. 

“So what are we doing here on the floor?” Steve speaks in the same hushed, soft tone he used on kids when they got caught in the crossfire of a mission, but it doesn’t irritate Sam the way he thought it would. 

Sam shrugs. “I’m comfortable. Well, I was up until now,” Sam amends when his neck starts twinging. He hears more than sees Steve come lay down next to him. His warmth and familiar smell immediately put Sam a little bit more at ease. 

“Good. But that doesn’t tell me how you got there.”

Sam doesn’t quite remember. He’d been trying to get some chores done—being benched after a shitty mission should’ve meant being able to catch up on all the housework that got away from them as they got busy, but Sam hasn’t been able to do anything except shower and eat. 

“I don’t know.” Sam turns to Steve. “I just—I guess I just sat here, then I lay down and just—forgot how to get back up.”

“I’ll help. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll help. Just let me know.”

“I—” Guilt climbs up Sam’s throat, makes him choke on his apology. “I should’ve—I’m not—I’ve been—”

“Hey, no, Sam. I only ever asked you to try, you know that, right?”

“I just—I don’t wanna let you down.” Especially when Sam seems to be able to do these days is let people down. Including himself.

“You’re not letting me down by being a flawed human being, Sam.”

Sam lets one of the dark thoughts out. “How can you say that? Do that?”

“You do the same with me, darling.”

“I—”

“I love you, is the thing. I think part of you thinks I’m infatuated, still. That I put you on a pedestal, still, and that the more I see, the less I’ll want to stay. But that’s a conversation for another time,” Steve says with that wry little smile, the one he smiled when other people weren’t around, the one that made Sam’s heart stutter a little over five years ago. Steve leans in, wraps his arm around Sam’s back and kisses his forehead. He smiles against Sam’s forehead, then drags his nose down Sam’s, eyes closed, and stays there, so close they’re sharing the same breath. Sam feels like his chest is opening up against his will, lungs and heart and soul no longer constrained. “I love you, Sam. Not sure what it means to people these days, sometimes, but to me, it means loving the entirety of you. Whether you’re up laughing, dancing around or saving the world, or down here staring at the ceiling.” He’s quiet for a few moments, then: “I didn’t mean to make a damn speech.”

Sam smiles. “Of course you didn’t. I don’t think you ever do. Part of your serum-enhanced DNA.”

“Do you mind?”

“‘Course not. I love you.”

“I know you do.”

Sam’ll probably have to get up soon, if only so Steve’s back doesn’t start hurting, but he’s not getting up. Not quite yet. The floor isn’t any more comfortable than it was five minutes ago, but having someone—having Steve—to lay on the floor with makes things somewhat less miserable.

**Author's Note:**

> I am on [Tumblr](http://targaryenmelodrama.tumblr.com)


End file.
